Embrace your Life by Wilfried Nelles

Author:Wilfried Nelles
Language: eng
Format: epub
Publisher: Innerwelt Verlag
Published: 2013-02-15T16:00:00+00:00

Perspectives

So there’s a child perspective of life and an adult one. Both are right. Even though the adult perspective is more inclusive and advanced, this in turn doesn’t make the child perspective automatically wrong. It’s simply different and it’s fitting and right for a child. But because it’s fitting for a child, it’s not appropriate for an adult. However, that is not reason enough to reject it because when we do, we reject our inner child, and the child will never let us get away with it. That’s why we can never get rid of our child feelings when we want to.

The child and the adult views are simply two different perspectives, each with its completely different life reality. So what we have to do is look at the perspectives from which we view our lives and ourselves. When we change our perspective, our problems change as well.

I seldom do any exercises in my courses but there is one small exercise I always like to do. I ask the participants to become aware of where they’re sitting and from that position look at the room, their neighbors on their left and right and then the entire group, all the while becoming consciously aware of how everything feels. Then I ask them to stand up, walk over to another spot in the room, sit down and from there observe and become aware of the space, the participants and themselves. This lasts around ten minutes, and immediately the mood in the room changes. The participants’ faces lighten up; some look at their new neighbors as if they had never seen them before. The same happens when we assume a different perspective towards our problems, fears, pains, illnesses, longings, neurotic patterns, etc. They all change with the new perspective and perhaps, like the wall that was previously in front of us and is now behind us after we changed position, we don’t see them anymore.

So, for example, we see our parents almost always from the child’s perspective. This is true for when we accuse them of something and when we protect them, that is see them as perfect parents and not allow anything to affect them. When we see them from an adult perspective, we see them as two ordinary people who have various different flaws, weaknesses and strengths, but in their sum not any more than we do.

When we reach full adult maturity, we are completely at peace with our parents. We don’t accuse them of anything, we don’t feel that something was missing, that they didn’t give us enough; we don’t want to change them or wish they are (or had been) different than they were, and we don’t feel the need to protect them. They are simply the people who gave us life and in most cases also took care of us up to the point where we could do so ourselves. That they were not perfect at it is entirely human.

But with “human” I don’t mean that it was an excusable weakness (the word is so often used as an excuse for actually incorrect behavior).

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